Duality

Posted on Sun Jul 17th, 2016 @ 7:54am by Captain Charybdis MacGregor

0 words; about a 1 minute read

Mission: Taking Chances
Location: USS Bonne Chance, Deck 6, Sickbay
Timeline: 2265
Tags: Schizo

Charybdis slept, injured and alone for the night, and she slept poorly. As she tossed and turned externally, in her mind's eye there were two women, each similar, but quite different in so many ways. Each wore a similar face, though not the same... and they were arguing rather vociferously.

Because they were at odds, and only one could win this argument. And one had been losing for a while now...


The one with the sharply angled crested brows and military haircut that wore the chainmail and sash of her mother's uniform over her slender yet curvaceous form stood ramrod straight, her movements all military precision and bearing. She was the loudest, as usual, because her arguments were always being ignored- thus, like any sensible person, she simply argued louder.

"You are a failure to the Empire! What would the General say if she knew of your treachery? Your mother, your father? You held this ship in your grasp, and you could have made it an intact and whole battle prize, without a single scratch! You could have shot the Trill and the human and held the bridge. The Empire would have an advantage it has never known over its enemies, and you would have returned to a heroes welcome. Yet you threw it all away, and for what? For a 'friend'?" She spat the word out as if they left a poor taste in her mouth. "One who is a constant danger to you, no less? He is right here, and HE CAN HEAR YOU!"

The comically voluptuous girl in the Starfleet uniform who stood casually with one hand on a hip that was kicked out to the side, her long hair flowing in casual waves was eating an ice cream cone as she shrugged seismically. "Siivas is no one's fool, and I trust him with my life. You do realize I'm not going back, right...?"

The Romulan officer stepped in to scream in the Starfleet officer's face. "Lies! Falsehood! You have failed in your duty! You have forgotten whom you serve, you fat, pathetic, self-indulgent, bovine! Life in the Federation has made you soft, and now you are afraid to do your duty for fear that when you return to Romulus they will see how far you have fallen!"

The Starfleet lieutenant laughed. "I'm afraid to return... right. The Empire. Where has the Empire been for me? What have they done for me? Tortured me? Shattered my mind repeatedly? Thrown me out into the universe a pariah to make my own way and do their bidding so they can..."

The Romulan slapped the Starfleet officer across the face, hard. "The Romulan Star Empire birthed you, gave you shelter beneath the Raptor's wing, and made you what you are. All that you are you owe to the Empire, and your loyalty should be without question!" Naked fury burned in her eyes, the fury of the righteous.

The Starfleet officer smiled as she rubbed her cheek, then she punched the Romulan in the jaw. "Nothing is without question, drone. Science is asking questions of the universe to find answers... but you wouldn't know about that, would you? Starfleet gave me a life, a purpose, a home, friends... and love."

The Romulan Major put her fists on her hips and barked laughter at that. "Love? Can you not see? He cracked your shell, and reached what lies beneath, while night after night you helplessly tell him of all that you are and horrify him more and more. The Human does not love you... you do not exist! You are a thing, a homunculus, a monster, a golem, no more real than a hologram. And in your dreams you tell him all, showing him just what you truly are!"

"There is no love... he is an officer who knows his duty and is doing what is required of him to fulfill it, making the sacrifice of enduring your touch to serve his greater purpose like a good soldier. When you have given him all he needs and no more can be learned from you, then he will scrape you like dromedary from his sole and deposit you amongst the traitors where you belong!"

Circling the Starfleet officer slowly, the Romulan whispered. "And I will laugh, because the irony will be so sweet. You would betrayed your people, your family and yourself, and all for what. For friendship? For love? He cannot love you, bloated thing... you betray yourself as you lie with him, and he knows the secrets of your soul laid bare, can you not see the signs? He keeps you close as one does to enemies, to glean your secrets before he casts you out. You are nothing to him, for he knows your true face, and you disgust him... can you not see it in his eyes?"

Tears rolled down the Starfleet Lieutenant Commander's cheeks. "No... you're wrong, he loves me, he does... I know that he does. Yes, he acts a bit odd at times, but I cannot betray myself... I have said nothing, ever, and I have not reported to Homeworld since before I met him... and..."

The Starfleet officer wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "And I will not. I am no daughter of the Empire, and I am no daughter of Vulcan. I am Starfleet. I choose my own destiny, and my own path. I will not betray my oath as an officer..."

The Romulan Major cackled. "Your oath as an officer? Which meant nothing when you spoke it!" She tore the left sleeve of the pale blue uniform off, exposing the rising phoenix there. "You bear the mark of House Charvanek burned into your flesh, proving your allegiance for life."

"No!" the Starfleet officer shouted. "I cannot change what was done to me, and I cannot change what I was born to be. But I captain my own fate! I make my own choices! I decide what life I shall live! I am a Starfleet officer! I will not betray my ship nor my captain..."

"You share his bed and lie with him knowing that in his heart of hearts you repulse him, yet he keeps you as one would a pet... you do not even do it to show dominance over him...!"

"He lies with me because he loves me and he wishes to keep me safe in his arms. And I love him in return, for he guards my heart jealously."

"You are a weakling and a fool and a whore!"

"You are a shadow, a spectre, a ghost of the past that I no longer fear!"

"You cannot deny me, I AM you!"

"You WERE me... but I am so very much more than you could ever be," the Starfleet officer intoned, sweeping past the Romulan Major. "I know my worth, and I know what my future holds. You cannot reach me, you cannot harm me, and here I am happy... and it is a happiness that I deserve, I do not care what you say! Spew your venom as you will, creature... you are Rakal's monster, not I! I will live and love and I will be free, the stars my destiny. Let the Empire burn if it opposes me... I am Charybdis O'Conner. I am a child of two worlds who belongs to neither, and I am fully capable of deciding my own destiny. I am a Starfleet officer, and the betrothed of a human male in my heart of hearts."

"I stand for Earth, and for the Federation, and for Starfleet. It is to them that I owe my loyalty, and to them that I swear my fealty. To them, and to my love... to the human that tamed my fierce grey heart."

The Romulan chuckled as she paced slowly behind her. "I will never go away, no matter what you tell yourself or how hard you try to deny me. I am you, the true face that you wear beneath the mask that you try to convince yourself is real, you stroppy cow. You will never be rid of me."

"Then you will learn your place, running dog of the Star Empire. Because I am no lackey of theirs, and I will not betray those I love to you... not now, not ever. I am stronger than you, in ways that you cannot conceive, Scylla Chavarnek."

"We shall see, creature, oh fabrication of illusion of lies. You will never be more than the monster that General Rakal birthed in her laboratories... and in time you will come to see that, as will the universe..." the Romulan Major hissed as she faded into the shadows.



In her sleep, Charybdis tossed and turned, whining and mumbling to herself in two different languages, her sheets twisting about her as her soul wrestled for possession of her body.

 

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