Location: USS Victory, Deck 5, Captain Charybdis' Quarters
Timeline: Pre-Launch 23 days, 03:14 hours local time
There were voices in the walls. Female voices.
"Where are we?"
"I don't know. Last frame number I saw was five-five."
Silence, then, "Does that mean deck five, frame five, or frame five, deck five, or is there something else to it all?"
More silence, followed by, "I don't know. I think we came up through that ladder-thingie, then I got turned around when we found sickbay."
It was filtering in through the ventilation ductwork. There was a moment or three of silence, then the pop of gum punctuated the silence.
"Lieutenant Weaver, I think that's his name."
"Yeah, him, he said to look for welds that look like this, right?"
"Um...yeah." More silence, then, "Is that a good weld or a bad one?"
"I don't know. We could ask and find out."
A quick bit of embarrassed silence. "I lost my communicator."
Decisiveness, now: "Well, there's an access plate here. We could ask."
There was a whirr, then a bit of wall separated from its mate in the Captain's Quarters. "'scuse me," came a voice that might be oblivious if it were attached to something other than a lost look, "where are we?"
Looking up from her PDD, sitting on the empty floor in her underwear, the Vulcan vixen looked up curiously. "Deck five, port fore seven. On the other side of that tritanium bulkhead is space, and in here is the Captain, who was almost in the shower. Would you like to borrow a communicator to call Chief Weaver, or does this orient you appropriately?"
"There is a right and wrong answer here, for the record..." she added with a raised eyebrow and a half-smirk.
Dead silence, then a hurried, whispered conference.
"I don't know what that means!"
"I do, but it doesn't help, 'cuz I don't know which way is forward and which way is back!"
Silence reigned supreme for a moment, then the head, blonde-haired and accompanied with almost vacuous blue eyes, reappeared. "Yes, ma'am, it does help, but... one more question... which way is the fore, and which way is the back?" There was hope in that tone.
From behind her, an almost whispered, "Don't forget to ask about whether the fusion weld is good or bad!"
The captain facepalmed and sighed. As punishments went, it was somehow fitting. First things first. She rose smoothly from the floor, popped the panel open completely and pointed to a fusion weld on the structural joist. "That is a good weld." She looked about, shooed the blonde's knee off of a joist and pointed to it. "That is a bad weld. See how it is not actually covering the entire contact point, but it is actually just slagged metal slathered around the joint?"
"Uh, like that, I think," and a little louder, "yes, Ma'am, uh, Sir, uh..." There was an audible wince. "We understand, thank you."
"Is she going to help us find our way out?"
"Now come out of there and report back to Engineering, ask the Chief to explain internal starship navigation from the midline, fore, aft, starboard... no, scratch that. Just thumb here..." she held her PDD up to them as she helped them out of the bulkhead crawlspace. "NOW go report to the Chief and explain what happened."
As they moved to comply, the redhead looked back and commented to her compatriot. "Wow, captains get nice Fleet Issue Lingerie..."
As they disappeared, "Yeah, hers are complete, mine are broken, they're missing part of the crotch..."