Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are alive and well and cleaning starships.

Posted on Mon May 28th, 2018 @ 9:29pm by Commodore Raul Mizumoto & Commander Fiona McCray
Edited on on Mon May 28th, 2018 @ 9:30pm

0 words; about a 1 minute read

Mission: Operation: Risa!
Location: Various locales aboard the Bonne Chance
Timeline: 2265

As crew members beamed or shuttled off to enjoy leave time Engineering and maintenance swung in to high gear. Running diagnostics, tuning systems, repairing damage and just returning the great ship to her fine and fair best.

Ablesmen Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were among those left on board and those two worthies were part of the unsung heroes of Star Fleet...Maintenance and Cleaning.

Engineering kept things running but Maintenance kept them looking good.

The primary officer's gym was one of their first stops.

Isaac Guildenstern was a tall almost cadaverously thin man with with a rapidly receeding hairline. He'd been on the Bonaventure since she left the shipyards. His short stocky counterpart Rupert Rosencrantz had come on board with the most recent round of recruits. Both men stood surveying the recently repaired damage and the resulting pile of recycling and clean up duty that they had because of it. Guildenstern scratched his head and let out a long low whistle as he looked at the expanse of wall that they were about to repaint "Good lord...what do they do in here?" Rosencrantz gave a low unintelligible grunt to his mate's exclaimation and began picking up the debris left from the repairs and sorting it into the proper bins.


They worked in companionable silence for a while then gradually began delving into that time honored tradition ship gossip a passtime that made the tedius duties pass a bit faster."Yeah, that new Risan helmsman is cutting a swath through the ladies... been hittin on anything in a skirt" Guildenstern said as he eyed the lettering he'd been working on critically

"Yeah," Rosencrantz replied "and if he's not careful they're gonna cut one right back through him when they figure out he's charmin' the skantz off of more then one of em"

A couple of hours later they were cleaning the traps of the gym showers and cursing the amount of hair they were coming up with. "We wouldn't have this problem if there were no women on this ship" Rupert groused and Isaac chuckled "Yeah but we wouldn't have the great scenery either" that got them off on a comparison of the various crew women's assets and features which led to a spirited discussion of alien anatomy and it's compatibility with human anatomy which kept them quietly entertained through cleaning sickbay and the bridge.

Their last stop was the Captain's Ready Room.

"Whoa...so this is what a ready room looks like? rough life" The slightly rotund noncom polished the length of the Captain's desk while his tall almost cadverously thin counterpart went about the room policing the odd spills and emptying the waste bins. "What do you reckon he does in here?"


"He gets ready"

"ready for what?" Guildenstern made a rude hand gesture that caused Rosencrantz to snort with laughter

" Heh..If I had this set up I'd watch blue movies and peep into the ladies showers in tha gym"The pot bellied porter proclaimed as he cleaned the computer screen.


Guildenstern snorted "E's got that Vulcan bird, the one with the tits you could wear fer earmuffs. What's e need wif the ladies shower?"

Rosencrantz straightened to a faux parade rest and said in his best aproximation of a proper officer's tone.

"Variety, me old sod, variety!" The pudgy little man buffed the chair that eased the butt of command. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like?"


"What?..bein a officer? You couldn't pay me enough....too much responsibility too litte return" Guildenstern polished an award until it shone " They're too intense imagine that all your life you live so close to truth it becomes a permanent blur in the corner of your eye. And when something nudges it into focus, it's like being ambushed by a grotesque." He shuddered " No thank you...not for me. My life is simple. I clean up messes and at the end of the day I go to my quarters and leave work behind me. Officers...they're never off"

Rosencrantz gave a snort " have you heard any of tha reports from the planet? I'd say some of them are off"


Guildenstern paused and leaned against the desk " Now you see, I figure they've earned some misbehavior. Wound too tight the lot of them. All crammed in here..it's like living in a box"


"Oh look at you waxing all philosophical... from tits to Tolstoy is it? Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. Even if it were just a box rather than a great big ship you could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead.'"


"Too deep for me, you're a regular Bill Shakespeare"


The two men finished up in companionable silence, turning out the light as they left.

 

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